Series: Inspired Word of God
Psalm 119:105 ESV
Me da he were a quiet man.
He were a thinker.
He was (is) a man after God’s own heart.
He waited and watched for the light.
Psalm 119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”
The year was 1987.
I was at church camp that summer and I received a message that I needed to call my folks.
That was before cell phones, so I had to find a way to make the phone call from a pay phone.
When I got through I was told my mom was in the hospital. At first I really didn’t believe it. At that time she was a human tornado full on working machine. I couldn’t begin to imagine her being willing to stop long enough to go to the doctor, let alone the hospital.
I was shocked.
I was around three hours East of my childhood hometown and I didn’t have a car. I was camp counselor for a group and we traveled there on a very old church bus. I couldn’t even think how to cover all the bases and get a ride to see her.
Because leaving camp wasn’t really an option I stayed in touch with my KC family so I could get updates on what landed her in the hospital.
At first they thought she had a stroke but it turned out to be Bell’s Palsy. By the time my week at camp was over she had been treated and released. We lived three hours away from Kansas City and when I spoke with Mother she told me she was fine and I did not need to make the trip to Kansas City.
I was thankful she was okay and I breathed a big sigh of relief.
Lord, thank you for Your lamp and light.
That was in July.
Then one month later I received another alarming phone call. This time is was my Mom calling about my da.
It turned out he hadn’t been feeling well and when he went to the doctor (which was a very rare occasion) they did tests and he was diagnosed with cancer of the bladder.
I was told not to come because it would be fine. He was in treatment and they updated me regularly. My three older kids had just started school and my youngest boy was getting ready to start pre-school.
I sat in the light in the stillness of God and I prayed.
Oh, how I prayed it would be okay.
He was in treatment and we were hopeful that would kill the cancer.
Then, out of nowhere he started having other problems. The cancer showed up in his liver.
There were no options for treatment.
Looking back I honestly don’t remember what the next few months were like. What I remember was being very very frightened, I did not know how to do life without my da.
He passed into the arms of Jesus in early November of that same year.
The night before he passed away I had a vivid dream.
There was a tunnel and da was in the tunnel. At the end of the tunnel there was a great very bright light.
Me da was walking toward the light.
In the dream I was outside the tunnel.
I was clawing at the outer walls of the tunnel trying to get into the tunnel. I wanted to go with him. In the dream I wanted to go to the light. I was screaming because he didn’t hear me. He didn’t turn to see me. My da ALWAYS saw me. He knew me and he understood me.
Now he didn’t even turn to look at me. He didn’t see me.
He only saw the light.
When I woke up I cried and cried. I begged God to heal him. I didn’t understand it at the time, but he was being healed as he walked toward the light.
The next day he was healed by the light.
It took time (a lot of time) but I gradually learned that the Word of God was my lamp and my light. My da had helped me to know how God’s Word is important.
Now I had to learn how to rely on the lamp for answers.
I started learning how to be still and listen; I am learning. I know now I will always be learning until I walk in the tunnel toward the light.
Spiritual Practice: The Lamp and Light
Ask God to show you one thing you need from the Word. The lamp will light your way.
In God, Deborah
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