I Corinthians 1:4-9 ESV
I Corinthians 13:4-7 ESV
From the Jar
Maybe just like you, I’ve had quite a month.
It’s been a while since I’ve had life-altering circumstances pop up from unexpected places.
I lost a good friend. She was my prayer partner for over 25 years. Now she is in the arms of Jesus.
Today I added one more person to my prayer list because of cancer. A second person on my list is being tested for cancer.
I am grieving for all of it.
This month I’ve cried, I’ve hurt, and I’ve been pretty tired. Because of everything that’s happened, I am spending extra time just sitting in silence with God.
At this point I don’t have any words left to speak.
My Spiritual Director I sat with for 10 years used to tell me that silence is God’s first language.
Before God spoke the world into being, there was silence. That’s the kind of silence I need right now.
As I sit in silence with God I feel His heart.
I know God hurt for my friend when she was suffering.
I know God hates cancer and disease.
Please understand I’m not writing about this to obtain sympathy…I’m telling you because I’m human. I’m saying life is real. Because we are part of the human race, we will suffer grief from loss.
As I sat with God today I became aware of the Presence of God. I didn’t speak to God and no words passed between us, but I was reminded that for all the days of my life when I have had a need, God had been there. God is here.
In I Corinthians 1:9, Paul wrote to the church, “God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.”
I knew I was going to write today from the greeting Paul shared in his first letter to the church but I had no idea what I had to say or wanted to say or even thought about saying. Quite frankly, I wasn’t sure I should write anything today at all. Grief has left me tired and weary.
Because I was tired I decided to be silent with God.
Because I sat with God in silence, I became aware of His presence.
Because I became aware of God’s presence, I thought of God’s faithfulness. I’m not talking about faithfulness in general terms. I’m referring to God’s personal faithfulness to me.
That’s because whenever I turn to God, God is there. God is present. It’s an active kind of presence. Even when I don’t talk and we sit in silence, I sense God’s compassion and care. I know God loves me.
As I sit in silence with God, I know God hurts with me and for me.
I am reminded of I Corinthians 13:4-7 when Paul wrote, “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
As I sit with God, I know He is patient with me. God doesn’t have an agenda or a schedule for my grief. God doesn’t try to console me. He doesn’t try to tell me it will be okay after a while.
God bears my pain WITH me.
God believes (knows) in my time I will be able to breath again without hurting.
God knows I have hope in Him. I count on God to always BE there.
God endures all of this FOR me.
God has never failed me.
When life is hard and loud and unrelenting…I have a place where I can go to sit to find my center again.
I can go to God and sit. God always sits with…
I don’t need to think. All I need to do is receive God’s love, God’s peace, and God’s faithful presence.
Then in that moment as I sit with God I am reminded that those who have passed-over before me, are there. They are with God.
God brings to me a scripture I memorized decades ago. I Peter 5:10, “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.”
…and I am filled with hope. God restores me. God confirms His faithfulness. God gives me strength. I am firmly established in the presence of the living God.
Today’s Spiritual Journey is: Sit with God
Take time to sit in silence with the living God.
In God, Deborah