Sayings
Mark 10:27 ESV
It was like herding cats.
Herding cats IS an impossible task.
I used to think my faith, my ability to trust God, and my future were my responsibility.
I carried that responsibility.
The good news is that I was (am) wrong.
I came to a point when I saw that my ability to possess a strong faith is essentially impossible. In reality, the absolute best I can do is to want to want to want to believe and put my faith in God.
So, let’s consider for just a moment on my own how capable I am of having faith in God. Can I create the air I breath? Can I make my lungs receive that air? Can I make my heart beat?
On my own can I sustain my life? Do I think about God sustaining my life?
Of course the answer to all of those questions is no. I am not that powerful.
The problem I face is that I cannot remember a time in my life when I didn’t know God. Even when I was very young, even before I can remember, God has been part of my life.
Part of my faith history is intrinsically tied to a story I was told. The story happened when I was around six months old. My parents told me the story and that story became part of my faith journey.
Here’s what I was told about the events that happened sometime in the Winter of 1954:
I had been ill with some kind of flu or upper respiratory infection. As the illness took hold and settled in my lungs, my temperature climbed…rapidly.
I had a fever of 106.2.
I was rushed to the hospital and my doctor told my parents they had to get the fever down quickly, essentially they believed it would damage my brain.
Remember it was 1954.
In order for them to get my temperature down they put me on ice. My temperature dropped so quickly that it sent me into a series of convulsions (which is problematic).
The doctor told my parents even if I lived my brain would not function properly (I understand they were told I would be a vegetable if I lived.)
My dad started praying and he told God he surrendered his life and he would do anything God asked if he would let me live.
The doctors did get the fever down and they did stop the convulsions. My parents knew there would inevitably be brain damage but I was alive.
In Mark 10:27 we are told, “Jesus looked at them and said, “With man it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God.”
I lived even though they were told I could not survive.
I did learn to walk. I did learn to talk. I could eat on my own. As far as my parents could tell, I did not sustain any damage. They believed it was a miracle.
I’ve learned my ability to remember some things is limited. So, I learned ways to cope with my memory (or lack of). When I take a class that requires a lot of memorization (like Hebrew Grammar), I do not do well. But when I take a class where the exams are writing intensive, I do very well. It evens out.
My eyesight has always been poor. I have three major eye diseases and I have been told I will eventually be blind. I don’t know if those conditions are related to the injury from the fever in 1954.
My ability to hear some sounds has always been poor.
So back to my questions, is my faith really MY faith?
No.
God is powerful and God gives me faith.
The day I almost died God gave faith to my parents.
The next time you get frustrated because you are struggling with faith or trust issues with God, take time to just sit with God. You don’t even have to say why you’re there. God is God and God knows.
It’s okay to tell God you’re struggling and you could sure use some help. Think of it this way…God CAN herd cats.
As you sit with God, open your hands and your heart. Receive what God has for you.
Spiritual Practice: Receive
Sit with God and be open to what God has for you.
In God, Deborah
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