Series: Advent
I John 1:1-7 ESV
When I was young I had strange pictures I saw in my head and I heard a voice. I love (love) movies and I thought it was so cool that God gave me a movie in my head.
After a while I started to wonder if other people had movies in their head. I thought maybe I should be an actress and act out the movies I saw.
The problem is that most of the movies in my head were about Jesus or they were related to Jesus. I knew I heard and saw but I didn’t understand what that meant.
In 1 John 1:1-4 he wrote, “That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we looked upon and have touched with our hands, concerning the word of life— the life was made manifest, and we have seen it, and testify to it and proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and was made manifest to us— that which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ. And we are writing these things so that our joy may be complete.
I heard and saw but I didn’t understand. I was young and I thought I was probably the weirdest person ever…you have to understand I was twelve years old.
I thought about when the movies in my head started and it was after I went to Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City, Missouri to hear Billy Graham speak. That night when I walked into the stadium hurricane force wind swept through me. I do not remember anything Billy Graham said. I don’t remember hearing any of the songs.
When the message was over I was weeping and I made my way down front. Somehow through my sobs I was able to tell the counselor that something happened to me. He was very kind and he told me it was okay. After a bit I had to leave to get on our church bus to go home and he asked me if I the pastor was with us or if there was someone I could talk to. I told him my dad was an elder and I always talk to my dad about (pretty much) everything.
I didn’t cry on the bus but when I got home and I saw my dad I started crying again and I told him what happened. He smiled. He said it was a good thing. He told me the things I heard and saw were from God and I should pay attention, write them down or talk to him if I needed to talk.
That’s where my hearing and seeing started. When I was confused about things I would hear and see I would go to my dad and he would help me. He always reminded me the Spirit would help me to understand and I could ask God for help.
That all changed the year I turned 34 because my dad walked over the bridge into the arms of Jesus.
That was many many decades ago. Today I’m grateful I had my dad during those early years of hearing and seeing.
Walking in the light has been a learning journey. I knew the Spirit was always there to help me. 1 John 1:5-7 tells us, “This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.”
God is light.
There is no darkness in God.
Looking for the light when I didn’t understand something I saw in a dream or a vision was ‘normal’. I think that’s because I was young when my journey began. It was also normal because my dad told me it was normal.
I believed my dad. For 20 plus years he helped me understand. He had prepared me because he continually told me to rely on the Spirit.
Understanding gifts and applying them may sound like it was easy, but it wasn’t. When I was young I sat with God a lot because I didn’t understand what I saw and heard. Every day God taught me. God still teaches me or sends someone to help me understand. It’s a lifelong learning process. The good news is that the Spirit is our constant companion and guide.
Fellowship is with the Spirit of truth.
In the Spirit there is no darkness.
Look for the light.
Walk in the light. Seek fellowship with others who walk in the light.
After my life-altering event when I was 50 years old God pointed me to a place where others walked in the light.
I felt lost when I walked into that place, but God knew it was exactly where I needed to be.
God knows.
God sees.
Spiritual Practice: Sit in the Light
God knows you and sees you. Sit in the light with God and let the Spirit guide you.
In God, Deborah
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