The Wonder of God

Series: Changes

Romans 8:38-39 ESV

Romans 12:9-10 MSG

In all the trials I’ve faced in my 70+ years have taught me anything it’s that prayer is the center of revelation and understanding.

When I was younger I would say a prayer and stop listening the instant one word came before me. Me da had taught me to pray and wait and I thought that’s what I was doing.

I was young.

I was not patient.

Later in life when I faced a life altering trial, I hurt so much that I sat with God to ‘pray it through’. I first did it as a means of survival. I learned to wait until I could really breathe in God’s love and full acceptance. Ultimately I realized that nothing that happened on earth could separate me from God’s acceptance and love.

That’s when I found (actually God led me to) Roman’s 8:38-39, “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Knowing that no matter what happens God is with me and for me meant God was inseparable.  At the time that meant nothing could happen that would separate me from God. That was important because my whole life had been upended. One day everything was fine and then it was gone. What was left was me and God.

The most difficult thing to face was the feeling of fear that life could never be okay again. The life I had was all I’d known and I thought that life would be my life until I went to be with Jesus.

Then suddenly it was gone.

Roman’s 12:9-10 tells us, “Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.”

About that time someone told me about a Spiritual Director who took appointments and I started going to talk with him. For several years we had conversations that always pointed me back to the center. Ever so slowly I learned how to sit in silence with God. It’s an interesting practice because while it sounds easy it’s not. Our modern way of life is about as opposite as it can be from the life of silence.

Ever so gradually I became comfortable with the ‘center’ of my soul where God resides in us.

See, my perfect life was man-made. It looked good on the outside but when it crumbled God replaced it with a most beautiful place…much more peaceful and lovely than I could have ever imagined.

I’m not saying that God intentionally took away what I had because that’s not what happened. In reality we live in an imperfect world, but when my world crumbled God replaced it with a beautiful new world that is filled with great love and peace. In time (and it did take a little time) I came to realize my new life was more fulfilling with the absolute wonder of God.

Through Jesus, Deborah

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